We all strive to find happiness. In search of this happiness one day I turned to find a scientific solution to find happiness. Literally, I turned to science. Psychologists at the University of California have discovered some fascinating things about happiness that could change your life. Let me summarize their observations which I felt were quite surprising and yet we all know them.
One of the main discoveries by scientists surprisingly is that we all have a happiness “set point.” When extremely positive or negative events happen—such as buying a big Car or losing a job—they temporarily increase or decrease our happiness, but we eventually drift back to our set point.
They have found that our genetic set point is responsible for 50% of our happiness, life circumstances affect about 10%, and a big 40% is completely up to us. The large portion of your happiness that you control is determined by your habits, attitude, and outlook on life. Permanently adopting new habits which are a bit vague to define, such as how you see the world—is difficult, especially at this age. But breaking the habits that make you unhappy is much easier.
There are many bad habits that tend to make us unhappy. Eradicating these bad habits can move your happiness set point in short order.
Immunity to awe: Amazing things happen around you every day if you only know where to look. Technology has exposed us to many things and made the world so much smaller. This exposure raises the bar on what it takes to be awestricken. It’s hard to be happy when you just shrug your shoulders every time you see something new. Smaller surprises and new experiences increase your exposure to awe.
Isolating yourself: Isolating yourself from social contact is a pretty common response to feeling unhappy. Socializing, even when you don’t enjoy it, is great for your mood. We all have those days to isolate ourselves, but the moment this becomes a tendency, it destroys your mood
Blaming: We need to feel in control of our lives in order to be happy, which is why blaming is so incompatible with happiness. When you blame other people or circumstances for the bad things that happen to you, you’ve decided that you have no control over your life, which is bad for you.
Controlling: It’s hard to be happy without feeling in control of your life, but you can take this too far in the other direction by making yourself unhappy by trying to control yourself too much. You feel that nagging desire to dictate other people’s behavior. Those efforts will inevitably fail and make you unhappy.
Criticizing: You enjoy judging other people and speaking poorly of them. It feels good while you’re doing it, but afterward, you feel guilty and sick. It just creates a spiral of negativity.
Complaining: Complaining and the attitude behind is troubling. By constantly thinking and talking negatively about things, you reaffirm your negative beliefs. While talking about what bothers you can help you feel better, there’s a fine line between complaining being therapeutic and it fueling unhappiness.
Impressing: People will like your clothes, your car, and your fancy job, but that doesn’t mean they like you. Trying to impress other people is a source of unhappiness because it doesn’t get to the source of what makes you happy. Instead, you can find people who like you and accept you for who you are.
Negativity: Life won’t always go the way you want it to. You have the same 24 hours in the day as everyone else. Happy people make their time count. Instead of complaining about how things could have been or should have been, they reflect on everything they have to be grateful for. Then they find the best solution available to the problem, tackle it, and move on
Hanging around negative people: Complainers and negative people are bad news because they indulge in their problems and fail to focus on solutions. People often feel pressure to listen to complainers because they don’t want to be seen as callous or rude, but there’s a fine line between lending a sympathetic ear and getting sucked into their negative emotional spirals.
Comparing your own life to the lives people portray on social media: The thing to remember about social media, in general, is that they rarely represent reality. Social media provides an airbrushed, color-enhanced look at the lives people want to portray. Social media has some advantages; just take it sparingly and with a grain of salt.
Neglecting to set goals: It’s important to set goals that are challenging, specific (and measurable), and driven by your personal values.
Giving in to fear: Fear is just an emotion that’s fueled by your imagination. The danger is real. It’s what you feel when you almost step in front of a bus. Fear is a choice. Don’t be afraid to take risks. People say, “What’s the worst thing that can happen to you? Will it kill you?” Yet, death isn’t the worst thing that can happen. The worst thing that can happen is allowing yourself to die inside while you’re still alive.
Leaving the present: Like fear, the past and the future are products of your mind. No amount of guilt can change the past, and no amount of anxiety can change the future. Happy people know this, so they focus on living in the present moment.
1) Accept your past. If you don’t make peace with your past, it will never leave you and it will create your future.
2) Accept the uncertainty of the future, and don’t place unnecessary expectations upon yourself.
You have heard most of the things mentioned somewhere or the other. But you may not have heard about the Set Point of Happiness and the very simple fact that 40% of happiness is what you control. Now is the time to follow very simple tips and get full 40% marks. Happiness will be a simple subject.
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