Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Parental Guidance

Dont be surprised by the ratings of my blog. I dont intend to publish any material which is rated as PG. My point is something which is an eternal dillema for all fellow parents.
Other day i saw Little champs on zee marathi. These kids are phenomenonal. they sing excellent songs. Be it classical based, folk based, emotional, natya sangeet and what not. How can they perform without fear of established guests and jury, TV audience , popularity ? God knows. God only has created them.
But i would like to focus on thought process of their parents. They had supported the decision to devote sizable months in academic calendar of their children for music show. One would argue that what is compared to this level of publicity and break. One would also argue that they will also manage the academics. But to reach that level of greatness in non academic careers requires dedication and all out approach. There is a sizable risk. I have seen many music career pursuant who wanted to be renowned performers but ended up as also rans and some at best may have reached music training. I dont want to demean job of these foot soldiers but in india we do not have infra to make a decent living. so is sports field. not all reach levels of dhoni or tendulkar. I have seen great cricketing talents ending up taking sales jobs with private bank franchisees. Are the returns so great to justify this risk. But when they succeed they are one out of millions.This is on one side of the issue
On the other hand, i have seen some who were failure in academics, but still are managing international lifestyle thanks to IT revolution. they struggled initailly but after a first break, they were persistent to look that as investment and made career. Infact in my early entrepreuner stage i was in the business of giving such people first break. So is it a safe bet to let children focus on conventional academics. They live happily but just one of the millions.
To aim to be one out of millions or to aim to be just one of the millions. This is eternal parental dillema.
My take: Its very difficult at young age to know what one loves. So its duty of parents to expose the children to various things. its our duty to find something that he or she enjoys most. (this process can start at age of 5 and can go on till age of 8). Evaluate if he/she really has the required iota of skill combined with interest after a certain years of singular exposure say at 10. Then take a call. work out fallback options. and then let it go... get her/him a great dedicated guru (thats what makes difference)
Its not very simple, thats where destiny plays major role. But dont ever teach her /him to give up on anything.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Sankalp Visit: A soul shattering experience

Many of us in Pune would have been to Panshet/sinhagad/khadakwasala side for Picnic many times. If next time you go that side, its my request to make a visit to Sankalp Orphanage just 2 km before panshet phata on right side of road. It will help you with a new shocking insight to life.
We at Round table 105 had arranged a visit to school which we plan to build near khadakwadi. Later plan was to go to Tr shantanu's farmhouse and have some fun. It was suggested by Tr Shantanu’s mother to visit and support that. And we were not prepared for the scenes we witness once we entered inside the establishment. I clicked the snaps from outside. I did not have daring and it would not have been proper on my side to take snaps of the plight of residents there. Guys, I urge all who had not witnessed the scenes, to take 10 mins out of their numereth picnics towards sinhagad, panshet, khadakwasala side to thank the almighty for whatever comforts he has provided us till date. We are sheer lucky. How unfortunate can those souls be whom we met that day. The children were orphans abandoned and add to that they were mentally challenged (here I cannot use politically correct word Differently abled: all politics can be forgotten). The stench coming from rooms indicated their failure of their control over their bodies. One guy was tied up as he did not seem to have any control over emotions. We cannot forget the five year old infant who wished us by folding his hands which was so polite (and compare that with today’s nextgen who are privileged). Then we met old people abandoned by their families. We were shell shocked as we came out. As we had already spoken to management team (who are doing excellent job in those gloomy conditions), they needed blankets. We immediately coordinated with Tr Amol to buy and dispatch 50 blankets asap. Within ourselves we promised to support this establishment in whatever capacity in coming years. There were ideas like donating monthly drinks/eating out expenses individually.
Life is unfair. Most of the time we complaint that we have not got enough. we strive for more. These scenes give you a perspective. For me it was an astound resolve to do whatever to help them in my capacity.
and i wish to almighty to grant this wish to let me help them better.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Things to do

I saw movie Dasvidanya last week. Central character is a common man who knows that he cannot live for more than 3 months max . he makes a wish list of 10 things he wanted to do before he dies. its simple and touching story about how he goes about it..
It was also shown than during his normal life (prior to the enlightenment about 3 mths deadline) he was bogged down by "things to do" lists which included silly and needless travails of ordinary life like changing batteries , buying toothbrush etc. Also there is angle to his trait of not saying no or inablity to confront situations.
Thats where the connect is. I had read in my childhood a book called 'Dont say yes when you want to say No'. Though in my life i did not implement what i had learned and failed into this trap of this inabilty until very recently. Somehow now i am much equipped to face this dilemma with some unique but not so direct (as is needed) approach to address such situations.I know of certain people who are very frank and clear about what they want. Problem with most is inability to know what you want, and a insane tolerance of someone pushing his 'to do' lists over yours.
and about the wish list or bucket list as it is called: its again our failure to see larger picture of our life which helps us get bogged in humdrum and get worried and bothered by smaller details. Yes we need ability to have attention to details and larger goals are started by taking small actions. The key is congruence of those actions with larger picture.
Life poses a very simple but yet very important question:
Question: why do you (or want to)work harder and better?
Answer1: I work because i like my work and want to grow in my field.
Answer2: Because i want to earn more money which will earn me a bigger house in better locality , with bigger car with better brand value, branded clothes and accessories, exotic holidays, ......
Answer3: Because my batchmate/colleague/brother works and i want to be better than him and want to have better life than him.
Answer4: All of above...
Probably: real answer in most cases will be 4 as its combination. How much anxiety is spurnt into this question and also all answers. Extent varies , % of importance to each varies , efforts vary, emotions vary, stress levels very. But most of our urban lives be it anywhere in the world rotate around this question.
Is there any simple or ideal answer to this?
I think answer lies in being happy with what you do: that will only happen if your larger picture matched its smaller steps in their direction. There might be failures which are devastating many a times. But one should take pride in attempts as a solace and work in same direction. and there is no morality in being justifying anybody of your priorities. Once you have that confidence then you are much equipped to attempt any thwarts of anyone else forcing his to do list onto yours.
Bahot heavy ho gaya na???...
By the way i also saw ghajini: nothing worth writing about except Asin. Aamir is as usual convincing, but nothing in story or script to write.

Dasvidanya costed me Rs 50 for DVD rental, Ghajini: Rs 450 for tickets+ Rs 40 parking+ Rs 100 on snacks

such is life.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Hope

I experienced last sunset of 08 at a very hatke location: desert (paradox being the most deprived geography landing up to be most extravagent in infrastructure and consumeristic spendings thanks to another natural resource) . experienced the first sunrise of 09. Old making way for new. Change . Wish this change is not just the change of calendar. let this mark change in self, family, sorroundings, society, country, and finally the world .
Time to change self; It takes a lot of time to correctly find one's strengths. Let us all be able to that to help us find real happiness in meeting the challenges that matter to us most based on those strengths. Let us overcome weaknesses, anxieties, strife withing oneself. Let us find path towards something which gives us real joy and avoid somethings which we do out of external compulsions .One though has to do those things as compromise, no one can run away and even while we do that let us have all the conviction that will result in clarity and peace. It was part of greater picture. let us all always have greater picture all the time..... And lets not waste time which is the most precious resource... else we might end up again changing calendars.
Moving onto family: let there be dialogue, let there be no externalities; ego, money, fame, comparison within relationships. Idea should be 100% love and understanding without any expectations. Thats the key
Then to sorroundings: lets resolve to atleast not damage sorroundings if we cannot improve: spiritual, visual, physical and chemical. Lets all have vision to be able to make positive changes to place where we live, work, commute and play.
On social side we need a lot of ground work and discipline esp here in india. We succeed individually but fail collectively. There is a need for all to contribute positively in each one's capacity. Need to take responsibilty. let there be end to the biggest blot on us: Corruption. let there be a collective drive to end that.
Let my country have great leadership and eradicate corruption. Let there be a lot of innovation in each sector of my country. let there be accountability.
On world stage: biggest challenge is conflict management. let there be cool heads to come to the table and have dialogue. Environment and resource distribution is challenge we should address else we may not leave any future for our next generations. Let the economies get rolling by some good planning and lack of greedy speculations.
Have I wished impossible things. Thats where hope is . hope is to be able to make right changes. No harm in hoping. ..