Guy Next Door

My phone rang on a chilly late January morning in the office. And what happened next gave me the biggest surprise in life. I learned lessons that I cannot forget for the rest of my life.  The call was about Manish, my new neighbor who lived next door.
I still remember the day I met Manish for the first time in my life.
It was a rainy weeknight in the month of June. Monsoons had set in. There is nothing like a good workday at the office followed by favorite dishes served for dinner. I had just finished my dinner as was about to occupy my favorite seat on the couch to watch my favorite TV show on a news channel.  I was trying to get hold of TV Remote which was in the firm grip of my wife watching a soap. I hate these soap operas. While my wife hates bombastic news anchors shouting at the top of their voices and making the life of other panelists miserable. She feels how that can entertain anyone after a long day in the office? But then she doesn’t get my point.  I feel otherwise. Who wants to cry over the fate of a newly-married lady in the palatial house as shown in these soaps? Anyways it’s an eternal dilemma across the families in India. Now both of us have competition from my eight years old daughter. She always wanted to see one of those Japanese cartoons. But then for the time being you could scold her and ask her to do her homework. Once she would be a teenager, and then God only knows what would happen? Doorbell rang. We were wondering who could at that time of day.
"Hi, My Name is Manish, Manish Brar. I have rented the apartment next door and moved in today"


I said “Hello, nice to meet you” and we shook hands. I introduced myself.

I realized that finally Desai, owner of the apartment next to me had got a tenant.   Mr. and Mrs. Desais stay in Mumbai and had bought the flat as an investment. Real estate in Pune was a great investment option for cash-rich individuals in Mumbai. The family staying earlier on rent had shifted to Nagpur. The agent had coordinated many prospective client visits for the last two-three months. This guy Manish Brar is going to be my immediate neighbor. Brar is a typical Punjabi North Indian surname. Why did Desai rent the flat to a Punjabi? Was he unable to find any Marathi family? Ours was a Maharashtrian dominated community. Not that I had any problems with Punjabis but the challenge was to speak in National Language Hindi. Speaking in English was easier but the English conversation sounded too formal to me.

He said “I am sorry for disturbing you at this hour but wanted to know if you have an electric tester. I need to open a switchboard as a  ceiling fan is not working”

“I know I won’t get any electrician at this hour. And we cannot sleep without a fan in summer” said he with a charming smile. For us locals, summers were over as Monsoons had set in finally in June after three months of oppressive summer.  

I went to my room, searched for the tester and luckily found it.  Most of the time, I am unable to find such an odd tool even in my own house, when I need it. Maybe this guy Manish was lucky with getting things he wanted.

I offered him coffee but he said he did not want to trouble us further. He promised that he will surely drop in during the weekend.

We made a point to invite the whole Brar family that weekend for high tea. They came is sharp at 5 pm. We had decided 5 pm time slot as its a kind of in-between time. Now, this is very typical of my clan as then we can get away with serving only tea-coffee and light snack items instead of a proper meal. But then importantly we were not sure of the eating preferences of that new family. It is always rare for a guest to turn sharp at the decided time here in India so we were a bit unprepared when they actually turned up at 5 pm. We felt embarrassed as we had to make them wait for us to join them. Maybe they had planned something after our home visit as we could feel their uneasiness due to delay.

It was good to know the man and his family. Manish passed out from a premier management institute and was working for a Global Management consulting company. His wife Sanjana was HR Manager with top Software Company. They had two kids. Manish had come to Pune after working for fourteen years in the US.  He had chosen to work for his new company in Pune over other Indian cities maybe mainly because Sanjana had got a job in Pune. It was a poster book family of a new Indian metropolis. They could go off as models in any housing ad as we see in Pune. His wife Sanjana can pass off as a model in any ad herself. Some people have everything in life including Punjabi background. Punjab is India and India is Punjab as they show in Indian films. Everything about them is larger than life. And we Marathis always have inferiority complex for their well-built physic, handsome looks, fair color, fancy food, and beverages, overhyped and over the top emotions, and so on.  Manish also had an army background. His father is a retired brigadier. Army people are made differently and you will make out after a small conversation with them. My wife found out that Mrs. Sanjana Brar was from a Doon school background from an affluent Delhi based Business family. Manish and Sanjana met during a college fest in Delhi and were going around 4 years.  Then Manish migrated to New York. They got married after a year.  They are now married for 13 years. They had two sons; 10 years old and 7 years old: Arnav and Aarav. They will now go to a famous International Baccalaureate school just started in Pune. Arnav and Aarav spoke with a typical US accent adding to discomfort for my daughter who goes to a vernacularly strong English medium school popular among my clan and locality. Manish’s parents stay in Nainital and have a big bungalow at a great hill location. Sanjana’s family had a flat in a posh locality in Pune but they still decided to stay in our locality due to proximity to Software Export Zone where Manish‘s company was located. Sanjana had left her US job and was supposed to join an IT major in the same SEZ next month.  They had booked a big penthouse in the upmarket locality of Pune coming up near the SEZ. The possession for the said house was at least six months away so had leased Desai’s flat temporarily. They liked our society and facilities for the temporary stay.  

He asked about our family during the conversation.

Reality then hit me. How his life and mine were so different like chalk and cheese. I worked for a manufacturing company as a senior engineer spending my time amidst technicians. I had to climb manufacturing facilities a few times in a day getting my hands dirty due to grease facing vagaries of the Indian climate. I would imagine Manish would have never gone out of an AC office or meeting rooms throughout his career. My wife works for a cooperative bank to support our EMIs for our house. Our house is our biggest claim to fame or maybe full and final trophy of life in such a good housing complex. And we know the price of it and sacrifices attached. We remember vacations forbidden, eating out at non-expensive joints, non-branded and need-based shopping. But then why was I complaining? My parents did not complain about doing similar things for us all the time as we grew up. But then we as kids, we never introduced our parents to something called peer pressure as our kids make us face. My daughter always quoted her friend going to Europe for summer vacations or having a birthday party at an expensive restaurant at J W Marriott. I had no answers for her. Looks-wise Manish could be defined as tall, slim, fair, fit and handsome. I am the opposite on every count. Manish had stayed in the US for 14 years and seen almost half the planet on his job while I had two stampings on the passport. First  time when my company sent me to Italy for 15 days training when I was a bachelor and second time when we took a personal loan and went to Thailand just to convince my daughter that we too can do a foreign trip.  Manish had booked a Toyota Fortuner and his wife would be driving Honda city next week from then. My Suzuki  Alto was five years old, needed denting and painting but then it was maintenance-free and has great mileage. My wife rides a Scooty.

I somehow managed to hide my awe while being polite and forthcoming in our introduction. Throughout the conversation, Sanjana was calm detached and formal. We thought it must be common for the US returned NRIs.  Manish, on the other hand, was talkative, enthusiastic and pleasant to all of us.  That’s how my acquaintance with Manish and his family started.

After that our interaction restricted to occasional ‘hi-hello’ as we bumped across in housing complex or elevator. Brars seemed very busy as it was obvious as they had to get their routine set at new offices, schools. A lot of things were needed to get done. The additional responsibility of project management of buying and designing a new house also must have been a hectic activity for them. It seemed that few others in our housing complex also got themselves introduced to Brars as they were a glamorous  US returned Punjabi family which was a bit rarity in our neighborhood. Of course, there is a big nomadic IT tribe in my society which travels to the US or Europe as if it were like traveling to Mumbai or Goa. These just out of college kids drive big cars, spend a lot on weekends on eating out, shop at branded outlets.  Things have really changed in India and people like me always miss the bus.

 My wife got along well with Sanjana. She helped her out a lot to recruit domestic staff which is essential these days. And then my wife is a good cook. She used to send traditional Marathi food and her fancy dishes (even Punjabi ones) to their house without fail. Their kids had befriended only my daughter in the entire complex.

All this led us to an invite to their house one weekend for dinner. We did not want to be embarrassed by being late so we reached sharp at 8 pm. As I predicted they were ready on time to receive us. The house was decorated nicely even if they were going to occupy that only for a few months. That’s one thing about Punjabis with defense background: they need to be presentable at any cost all the time. Light western music was on with dim lighting suiting a relaxing Saturday evening atmosphere. After niceties, kids went to the kid’s room and women sat on the dining table discussing the latest news in the neighborhood. Manish opened his Bar and offered me a red label. My wife raised an eyebrow suggesting to me to avoid drinking but then who would refuse such an offer. He brought in the glasses and we broke the ice. I heard about his achievements during his Indian Institute of Management days and also, about his international career. He talked about places in US, Europe and everywhere he had visited. He talked about his childhood roaming about everywhere in India as the son of an army officer. He showed us the snaps of his palatial US house which he still owned, his house in Nainital, his in-laws' house in Vasant Vihar Delhi. Everything was a showcase. Some people get everything in life. And he was so full of life. After a few drinks, he got a bit quiet. Some people go talkative after a few drinks while some talkative ones go into a shell. Alcohol can have strange effects to various people. Now the ladies joined us. So we started on usual family talks revolving about kids. Normally for an NRI family, such conversations start around a sentence” when we were in the US” or it ends with “in the US it's different”. But with Sanjana, it was not the case. She seemed to focus only on the future. She was a bit worried about how kids will fare in a new environment. She was also daunted by daily chores and the lack of infrastructure she was used to in the US.  Strangely Manish was quieter on front. So we deduced that there must be a strict division of responsibility between him and Sanjana. Thus anything about house-hold needs to be taken care of by Sanjana and rest by Manish.   I asked her how she feels to be in India?  
She said very thoughtfully, "So far so good, but keeping fingers crossed".
Manish strangely interrupted her and said sarcastically that "She is soo thrilled being here in India".
Sanjana interrupted the conversation asking us for more starters. The chicken starters were very delicious. I complimented her for that but Manish  again interrupted sarcastically

“Oh, she has wonderful culinary skills. She heats food very well in the microwave and that's all. We have ordered these starters from a good nonveg joint ”.
That was a needless but commonplace Male chauvinist joke after downing a few pegs. There was no retort from Sanjana. It seemed like she was silent types. I had to envy Manish again as a silent wife is an added benefit to marital life.

As we headed towards the dining table after a few pegs ladies again departed for preparation of dishes. I took the opportunity of asking a question which I was very curious about. I told him that people like me die to be settled in the US and why on earth did he come back. Maybe I was a bit tipsy and speaking about my own Achilles heel. He went silent into deepest thoughts and made an unpleasant face. Curiosity kills the cat as they say and I was feeling embarrassed for asking this stupid question. I apologized for asking him such a personal question. He said “Come on, there is nothing personal. It’s all about India. India is the place to be today as compared to the US”. He then successfully sidetracked the conversation to the latest events in the Indian economy, politics, cricket, and movies. These were the conversation topics all the time during the dinner which was ordered from another good restaurant. After ice-creams we said good night and ended a great weekend dinner.

We then met occasionally. Once we met at one of our neighbor’s place for some family function where both our families were invited. Sanjana and Manish were dressed traditionally and were formal to everyone. He asked me about my work and then we talked about the latest defeat of the Indian cricket team during the world cup. I asked whether he had settled down now in Pune. He said everything was as per the plan including the new house where they planned to shift next month. It was almost four months that they were staying in the rented flat by now. 

I knew he had joined a club where he played Tennis every morning. I bumped across him occasionally as he returned after his game which coincided with my company bus timings. I also saw him one weekend with his rucksack and hunter shoes. I asked him where he was heading. Guy had formed a group at the office to go for hiking. He was a  total outdoor person. On the other had the only sport I play is cards that too very rarely. The only hiking I do is to climb my own stairs when the elevator is out for maintenance. We also saw his Fortuner out on family outing every Sunday afternoon. My wife tried to pull Sanjana into various women’s groups she was a part of, but Sanjana tactfully avoided that. Of course the usual interaction of food exchange programs, kids playing at mutual houses went on as well.

I was informed by my daughter that both Aarav and Arnav were stars of their IB school. Aarav the elder one went to the next level of informatics Olympiad and Arnav won sports awards. I scolded my daughter for not winning anything in school except a silly race called ‘three-legged race’. Some people are blessed genetically as well.

There was a campfire event in the housing complex. Manish volunteered to sing an old Hindi song and he sang really well. And I am scared to sing even in the bathroom. How can some people have everything in life?

It was someday in Nov after Diwali the Brar family came to our house and announced that 30^th Nov was their last day in the rented Their new penthouse was ready to be occupied and they had given notice to Desai about the vacation of the flat. Poor Desai now has to find another tenant. It was nice of them to turn up with a sweets box and a thank you card to us for helping them. We were a bit sad but always anticipated this moment as we knew very well about that. The human mind is strange. Even when we know what’s going to happen especially when something good is going to end, but still we end up feeling sad or down when that actual moment comes. All Indian fathers know that their daughters are going to leave them someday for their husband's place but I have seen strong-minded fathers breaking down when that moment actually arrives after marriage.  That’s the same paradox as posted by Yaksha to Yudhishthira in ancient Indian classic Mahabharata. This story was narrated by Industrial Safety Head in our company.  As the story goes, at the end of Yudhishthira's earthly life  that messenger of God Yaksha had asked  King Yudhishthira who ruled the world, “What is the biggest paradox?” Yudhishthira answered that "Everyone knows that someday one has to die. But then no one thinks about it and death by accident always comes as a surprise. The biggest paradox is that the biggest surprise is the death that too when we all know death itself is inevitable.  So the moral of the story as told by the Head Industrial Safety is that better be prepared all-time in the plant. The moment we always knew which would arrive had finally arrived but we felt sad when the day they left our neighborhood.  They promised to invite us for house warming they had planned in December.

Later we got the invite for the event. Their penthouse was magnificent: Spacious, well decorated and had a different class about it.  We were the only ones invited from our housing complex. All the other guests at the ceremony were the typical high society crowd. Some of the guests he introduced were CXOs of companies, entrepreneurs, financial wizards.  Later a well-known musician also graced the party for some time. We were a bit overawed amongst that beautiful crowd. Of course, the kids were happy to meet again and started playing on their own. That’s the advantage of being young. You don’t carry any inferiority complex neither do they get awed by the ambiance. Everyone at the party was discussing their yearend plans. Some were going abroad, some were joining their families at native places, while some mentioned very popular places and parties. For us, it would be the usual cup of coffee watching TV on the 31st night. The only difference between other nights and New Year eve was that I would be awake till 12.30 while on other days I retire at 11. I don’t know whether I  am up after midnight out of peer or family pressure or is it that I just try to avoid getting my sleep disturbed by loud music in neighborhood and crackers at midnight.

Year passed by. Calendar changed. One January morning, I got a call from my wife. She was frenetic. I could make no sense of her initial conversation but later myself was shocked to know that week earlier Manish had committed suicide.

“What??” I said. “Are you joking? How can someone as vibrant, happy like Manish can do this and for what reason?” I had lots of questions. I then came to know bits and pieces of the news.

Just before my wife called me, Sanjana had called my wife bidding goodbye to Pune. She was moving with kids to Delhi to join her parents. And my wife was the only person in Pune she felt saying goodbye.
My wife was surprised and asked why was she leaving Pune.
Sanjana told her that she doesn't want to stay in Pune as Manish had committed suicide a few days back.
My wife was shocked and could not ask further about suicide or reasons. She knew Sanjana won’t share that part with her. My wife could come out of her shock to offer Sanjana any help needed in Pune. She said her brother and her father in law were there in Pune to manage everything following such an event.
And we knew they were well connected to resolve everything...

Manish was by no means, someone close to me but somehow his life reflected someone whom I wanted to emulate. That was the only emotional attachment with Manish. We felt good that Manish and family were down to earth interacting normally with people like us below their class.  Apart from that, there was nothing more. I could not call Manish as my friend maybe I would call him just an acquaintance. Still, we were shocked and very sad for many days after that phone call. We were also concerned about Sanjana and kids.

The question still remained unanswered. Why would end this life and for what reason? He looked so happy and full of life. He had everything in life I dreamt about.  

Other guys in the housing complex also knew about it as someone had read in last week’s papers. Some people can connect names and follow the news. For me, newspapers are only meant to glance and not to read unless there is some very high profile news like 9/11, 26/11, or Cricket world cup win 2011. The International business expert in our housing complex: Nadkarni, said that he knew that Manish was working with a consulting company in the US and faced a malpractice suit after which he was fired and faced litigation. The courts had delivered verdict finding him guilty. Another Global expert in our complex, Shintre had another theory as he knew Manish’s Company. “Know it all” Shintre also knew few colleagues of Manish.  He said he can swear an oath that matter was very personal: Sanjana and  Manish never went on well. In fact, Shintre told us that some nastier colleagues of Manish claimed that Sanjana had an affair with a colleague in her office. But then you never trust Shintre who claims to know it all.

I could not make any judgment on my own as I don’t know about the reason neither I want to know about it. Things are not what they appear as I learned from Brar episode. What happened next door to the guy next door can happen to anyone. Treasure everything you have. Because, anything out of that maybe something that someone, whom you seem to have everything,  is maybe looking for.   And he may never get that. And don't worry about things that you don't have.

The next day I took my family for an outing and dinner.  I told them that you live only once as one Mr. Yudhishitra from Mahabharat advised us to be prepared for an ultimate surprise...

Time for all of us to know that the Grass has been always green everywhere. It is green on our side of the fence as well just that we never noticed it... It’s the same grass but on the other side which is the problem... and that’s the cause of human misery for ages...

(All characters depicted here are fictional but issues remain universal.)