Sunday, August 28, 2022

Imperfect Perfection

 

We see an imperfect world all around us.  We have seen senseless shootings. There is an unending war. We have seen prices rise and economies heading toward recession. We are not fully out of the pandemic. Droughts, floods, and storms warn us of the grim realities of climate change. India losing a test match that it should have won. We see pain all around us and yet we yearn for perfection in our daily lives. We strive to create a perfect world around us. We tend to show the world through our social media how we are living a perfect world. Everyone tries to be perfect. But there are downsides to being a perfectionist. 

What is perfectionism? It is a self-oriented, irrational desire to be perfect while perceiving excessive expectations from others as well as placing unrealistic standards on others. What’s the downside? Researchers say that seeking perfection can create paralysis that hurts productivity.  You delay doing difficult tasks being scared of doing the second-best thing.   That insecurity undermines your confidence. Another downside of perfectionism is that it’s much harder to delegate. You think that no one can do tasks as best as you can do.  You can’t build a team if you can’t delegate. That impedes the growth 

In reality, there is enough of evidence that the world isn’t changed by people doing perfect work at all. In fact, the world is driven by people doing their best to improve or create things against incredible odds and failing in uncountable ways along the journey as Edison had said.  Darwin has said that evolution was driving this pattern for millions of years before we even arrived on this planet. Nature doesn’t know or celebrate ‘perfect.’ It is always a work in progress. Cells are changing and dying even before the organism is fully grown. In the wilderness, there are zero perfect trees, plants, or animals just like us. 

In this imperfect world what advice can you render to a teenager or a young adult? 

First, we need to know ourselves.  We aren’t born with a well-formed ability to step outside ourselves and look at ourselves objectively. We naturally spend our lives stuck in our own heads unable to separate the criticisms we hear in our heads from our true selves.   We can treat ourselves with the same grace and care we as would a good friend.  Journal writing, reading, and talking to well-meaning friends are also good tools. 

Then we need to celebrate ourselves always. We don’t need to wait on perfection or massive life milestones to celebrate ourselves. We need to celebrate everything. Every day we should give ourselves a huge hug and tell how wonderful a job we are doing in our life. This creates a space for that inner self-criticism. 

We need to practice imperfection- If you’re bent toward ‘perfect,’ sometimes it’s wonderful to practice imperfect. We can allocate a time window and force ourselves to get something out in the world that we know in advance won’t be perfect. Another exercise that can be helpful is to do something imperfect intentionally to celebrate imperfection and the space it creates. 

We need to take note of your grading of others. While developing close friendships, leading people, and becoming a parent we hold grace for other people. Surprisingly in each role above, we tend to be more understanding to other people than ourselves, especially as a parent. As a parent, you see your kid utterly and perfectly complete just as you are. Watching the way we accept our kids, and beginning gingerly to apply that kind of acceptance and care to ourselves we can change our lives.  This will help you feel comfortable about yourself in the state of imperfection. 

So are there any alternatives to perfectionism? Scientists have suggested selective perfectionism, choosing when a task is worth any effort that’s above and beyond and when it’s not. The biggest obstacle for the perfectionist is letting good enough be good enough.  A perfectionist doesn’t even know what it means to not be perfect. They don’t know what good enough is. It’s an all-or-nothing way of evaluating things. Work is amazing or a disaster. Scientists say this binary thought process has to give way to selective perfectionism. 

To get past the pursuit of perfection and find a balance, scientists suggest using a technique called “Max, Mod, and Min.” Before you start a task, write out the maximum you could do for that task, the minimum you could do, and the moderate–a happy medium of the two. This allows you to break binary thinking. You can find options to right-size an approach for any task or circumstance. Defining three levels of performance for a task builds edges that help you move forward. 

Scientists have added an example of this approach:  if you have to write a report, define the max, the min, and the mod results. For the max, you could write a report that covers all angles, includes a variety of sources, the latest research, the history of the subject, and more. This might take a lot of time. To take a min approach, you could use the information you have, frame it into a template, and call it done. This level would take the least amount of time and effort. Finally, taking the mod approach would involve adding one or two elements above the minimum. Same thing you can do while delegating the tasks. You don’t want an employee to deliver a 15-page PowerPoint when you wanted a memo. When you give someone an assignment, talk about the levels of performance, and choose the right fit. 

To conclude, stop trying so damn hard to be invincible and perfect, and just be yourself. The more you can bring your entire self to everything you do the better you’ll feel and the better you’ll be. You’ll not only eliminate emotionally draining anxiety but also forge more genuine connections with others, opening yourself up to support when you need it. 

 

 

Sunday, August 21, 2022

Coming of Age

 

We have passed the summer solstice and we will soon end half of the year 2022. Life goes on and we complete one more year circling around the sun. So what do we earn during this cycle: one more year of aging? Some age fruitfully while some don’t feel that way. Looking positively, there are many perks of growing old or aging. You have gained experience in life and have some resources (varying from person to person). When I am saying someone had aged I am relating to those who have crossed 40 years of age. We all know clichés like ‘age is just a number' and ‘50s is new 30s’. But without getting into specific age numbers I would say aging happens the day you realize that you have fewer days in hand than you have spent on this planet earth. And this realization varies from person to person. Crossing that stage has various benefits.

Even as certain mental skills decline with age, scientists are finding the mind gets sharper at a number of vitally important abilities. In one study I read older air traffic controllers excelled at their cognitively complex jobs, despite some losses in short-term memory and visual-spatial processing. They were experts at navigating, juggling multiple aircraft simultaneously and avoiding collisions. People also learn how to deal with social conflicts more effectively. In another study, older subjects were better than younger ones at imagining different points of view, thinking of multiple resolutions, and suggesting compromises.

It turns out that managing emotions is a skill in itself, one that takes many of us decades to master. Unlike the younger population, the older population didn’t agonize over losing in a Gambling study, and they were less likely to try to redeem their loss by later taking big risks. In another survey, researchers found that people over 50 were happier overall, with anger declining steadily from the 20s through the 70s and stress falling off a cliff in the 50s. People got happier and their emotions bounced around less. Such studies reveal that negative emotions such as sadness, anger, and fear become less pronounced than in our drama-filled younger years.

 A study conducted about startups, analyzed a large number of people who started companies between 2007 and 2014. It was found that among the fastest-growing tech companies, the average founder was 45-years-old at the time of the founding. The researchers also found that a 50-year-old is twice as likely to have a massive success—defined as a company that performs in the top 0.1 percent—than a 30-year-old. These findings strongly reject common hypotheses that emphasize youth as a key trait of successful entrepreneurs. The view that young people produce the highest-growth companies is in part a rejection of the role of experience. In other words: Success in business, even in the fast-paced start-up world, isn’t just age-related. Wisdom, a deeper kind of knowing that can only be gained through experience, matters too. And apparently, it matters quite a bit.

 People have found parallels in sports. From a physiological sense, research shows that athletes tend to peak in their early to mid-twenties. Yet many recent champions are much older: example, Thomas Brady (43), Roger Federer (36) Serena Williams (35), Novak Djokovic (31), Rafael Nadal (32), Lebron, Igoudala to name just a few.  The older you get the more experiences, successes, and failures you have. You have more information to draw from. The more information you have, the more patterns you recognize. The more patterns you recognize, the better you are at making tough decisions and assessing risk.

 For Normal people leading a normal life, there are tangible improvements as we come of age. These are the points one should treasure and enjoy as one grows older and wiser.

We have higher self-esteem: The insecurities of youth fades away as one ages, and older people have less negativity and higher self-esteem. Regardless of demographic and social status, the older one gets the higher self-esteem. Qualities like self-control and altruism can contribute to happiness.

 We improve reasoning and problem-solving skills: Brain scans reveal that older adults are more likely to use both hemispheres of their brains simultaneously — something called bilateralization. This can sharpen reasoning skills as mentioned in the Air Traffic control example.

You have less stress. As people grow older, they are able to differentiate their needs from wants and focus on more important goals. This can alleviate worry over things that are beyond one’s control. Seniors may realize how little the opinions of others truly matter in the larger picture, thereby feeling less stress about what others think of them.

 You can relate to more peopleAs you grow old you can confidently navigate conversations with those of all age groups and life stages. You can be comfortable with the gray hairs in the room, but you can also play “older sibling” to 20-somethings.

 You’re more comfortable in your own skin. You discovered that as you get older (and more mature), you feel more confident in who are and have an easier time letting go of who you are not. I also tend to   care less about what others think about me.

 You become kinder to yourself. You become far less judgmental, more loving, respectful, and in awe of all, you have endured and triumphed over.

 You have more life experiences which is one of the best things about getting older. It also provides hope that some of the best experiences are yet to come.

Finally, there is wisdom that flows out of our realization that we will not live forever. Each one of us has been put on this earth for a specific number of days that only God knows.  This reminds me to prioritize what matters the most each day: Carpe Diem!

Eleanor Roosevelt said: “Today is the oldest you’ve ever been, and the youngest you’ll ever be again.” While that truth can be a little unsettling, that also means your best days are definitely yet to come.

Sunday, August 14, 2022

Flying down the Memory Lane

 

This part of the world is reeling under rampant inflation, stock market crash, political and social polarization, and effects of climate change. This is the right time for a dose of nostalgia in form of a Movie like Top Gun: Maverick.  When was the last time you heard the audience clapping, cheering, and laughing audience at the multiplex? If we're being honest, it's been a while.   

Tony Scott’s Top Gun (1986) is full of 1980s pop culture. It was different America then as many locals say. People feel immense Nostalgia while reviving old nostalgia now at the start of the summer of 2022.  For example, seeing Tom Cruise's Maverick and Val Kilmer’s Iceman texting each other is amazing. These 80’s youth icons adapting to today’s lifestyle somehow resonate with the audience. People have seen technology change, and people change.  The then Youth icons are now portrayed as old men with ailments. This change of imagery somehow causes uneasiness as we acknowledge the windmills of God.  

When the TopGun was finally released in India it was Oct 87. The movie was released in the US in may 86. Now times have changed. We see all movies released simultaneously all across the world.  86 was when Maradona made the world cup his own. Ronald Reagan was the US president and Rajeev Gandhi was the Indian PM. We had good old Doordarshan entertaining us through some very good serials. In 2022 despite Netflix, Prime Videos, Apple TVs, and numerous channels in India, we still yearn for quality entertainment a nostalgia film as Maverick provides. Top Gun had entertained me then and Top Gun Maverick entertained me now.   

I remember seeing the movie as a std 9th student. My dad took me to Alka Theatre in Pune which was one of the two theatres which released Hollywood movies. The flying planes, bikes, cars, and whole imagery of the US west coast, and US lifestyle then kind of dazzled me. And of course, there was the presence of Tom Cruise. I still remember awkwardness set in when there was a ‘typical’ Hollywood romance scene between Hero and the Heroine in presence of my Dad.  We were a different nation then. As they say, history repeats itself as I saw Top Gun Maverick with my daughter. Netflix and other sources have advanced our younger generations on these matters so hardly there was any awkwardness for the similar scenes now. 

The movie starts with an Admiral telling Tom Cruise Character,  code-named Maverick,  That his career is over thanks to new technology and that pilots like him are obsolete especially due to drone warfare.  Though the film doesn’t discuss this aspect more it raises the issue of AI replacing human skills during extremely challenging situations.  But then Maverick still has a job to do in the film. As a paradox, we seem Movies like these are obsolete as you can binge tons of episodes of web series without leaving your couch.   In 86, Cold War was at its high, but “Top Gun” wasn’t really a combat picture. It was, at heart, a sports movie decked out in battle gear, about a bunch of guys showboating, trash-talking, and trying to outdo one another. Meanwhile Maverick had many combats in Bosnia, and Iraq. In 2022 there is no mention of the enemy, a mysterious enemy who is in possession of super-high-tech aircraft and is building an “unauthorized” weapons facility in a mountainous region wherever.  Maverick has to train young brash pilots for this mission. There’s just something inherently old-school pleasure in watching Maverick whip this group of brash pilots into shape. The film spends a lot of time in the air with either Maverick going on terrifying solo runs or teaching his charges what it takes to successfully complete a mission while also coming home alive. The central act of destroying the nuclear plant has so difficulty level that it keeps you on edge thanks to brilliant movie-making.  The cast and acting are great. The naval trainees are great. The only cast which repeats apart from Cruise is Van Kilmer: Iceman. Kilmer’s brief appearance has a special poignancy. Apart from the 2021 documentary “Val,” he hasn’t been onscreen much since losing his voice to throat cancer, and seeing him and Cruise in a quiet scene together is as sad and stirring.  Tom Cruise is immortal.  He can ride anything that can move. Name it a Plane, Yacht, Car, or bike. Only this time, Capt. Pete “Maverick” Mitchell is quite a bit older — and out of his league — compared to the younger Navy pilots he’s recruited to mentor. Tom Cruise brings the same swagger and bravado to the character he originally portrayed over 30 years ago, infusing the role with the same energy and spirit of the original film while giving the newcomers their time to shine as well.  

One personal major difference for me was the fact that I was seeing this movie in the US. When as a 9th grader, I had seen this movie:  US was a different planet, especially in the pre-liberalization era. Kit was full of glamour and awe.  Add to that the stark difference in movie viewing experience in Alka theatre Pune in the 80s and the AMC experience here in the US.  The world has turned flat since then. In India, we have the same movie viewing ambiance now as in the US. The glamour and glitz of the US had turned into everyday humdrum thanks to familiarity.   

 In some sense, what this movie takes most seriously are concepts like friendship, loyalty, romance, and okay, bromance. Everything else that surrounds those notions—like patriotic egotism—feels like playful winks just like in an old-school action movie.  Top Gun: Maverick is a necessary trip down memory lane that kicks off the summer movie season on the highest of notes.  Only this time you undertake time-travel and I traveled more than three decades across the flat earth between Pune and the US at Mach level speeds.    

 

 

Sunday, August 7, 2022

My Cup of Tea

 

We all need a start. Every morning you start your day with a freshly brewed morning cuppa. Some may prefer coffee but for me, it’s always a cup of fresh Natural tea with ginger. There is nothing like a hot cup of tea to Kick start your Day.  Chinese Culture has references to Tea and ceremonies around it for ages. The tea plant, Camellia sinensis originates from the land between today's northeast India, north Burma, southwest China, and Tibet, one of the earliest tea drinking is dated back to China's Shang dynasty, in which tea was consumed as a medicinal drink. An early credible record of tea drinking dates to the 3rd century AD, in a medical text written by Hua TuoIt first, became known to western civilization through Portuguese priests and merchants in China during the early 16th century. Drinking tea became popular in Britain during the 17th century. The British introduced commercial tea production to India, in order to compete with the Chinese monopoly on tea. In fact, I remember the Tea custom reference in Asterix Comics in its title Asterix in England.  Popularly Western Hemisphere has been more coffee-driven historically except maybe reference to the Boston Tea Party. Tea and selling Tea have many references in modern Indian politics and Chai per charcha (Discussion over a cup of Tea) has different political connotations.    

   

Our life is filled with infinite memories of Tea.  Many have met their ‘to be’ spouses over tea ceremonies. We have popular Bollywood songs over the cup of tea.  Hot cups of tea along with Pakodas during monsoons have resulted in many love stories. Hardened trekkers won’t forget the experience of Tea and snacks during monsoon and snow treks. Tea at various train stations, across dhabas spread over the country, has been superimposed in our memories. Infinite hours of debates and meaningless discussions have been spent in college canteens and vendor carts over infinite cups of tea.  

  

I was told very recently about the possible health benefits of Tea. But then biochemistry it’s not my cup of tea. My daughter an ardent tea fan and aspiring researcher in biochemistry wrote in her blog: People drink tea for its natural and earthy flavor, however, the tea you drink has so many health benefits as well. So if you drink tea on a regular basis, pat your back because you gave your body a great gift of health! There are many tea types which include black, green, white, chamomile, and herbal teas. Amongst these types, green tea has been rewarded the title of “the healthiest tea.” Adding green tea to your diet, which should comprise whole grains, fruits, and vegetables, has reduced the risk of heart diseases, cancer, and diabetes. Professor Qi Shun, an assistant professor at the Department of Nutrition at the Harvard School of Public Health, mentions that green tea contains a substance of polyphenols, which is assumed to be an effective anti-inflammatory substance. Polyphenols have a compound known as catechins. The most significant type of catechins present in green tea is known as the epigallocatechin-3-gallate (EGCG). Research conducted on EGCG has demonstrated the ability of the compound to prevent or treat cancer. Hence, this proves that drinking green tea on a regular basis has a major health benefit. So it may be a good idea to add green tea as a part of your diet.   

The second type of tea that my Daughter explains in her blog is black tea or popularly known as the Engish Breakfast Tea.  Any type of black tea like earl gray or Indian Masala Chai is her personal favorite. Black tea generally contains caffeine. Nevertheless, the amount of caffeine present in black tea is generally less than that present in coffee. Black tea obtains its color when the leaves of Camilla sinensis  (the plant where the tea leaves come from) are crushed, dried, and fermented. It is because of its fermentation, that the tea obtains its characteristic black color. During the fermentation process, the catechins react to form theaflavins or other flavonoids. These flavonoids have health benefits including weight and sugar management. It is also linked with anti-inflammatory and anti-cancer properties. Black tea provides you with all these health benefits. Has it convinced you to try black tea as your morning dose of energy?    There are numerous types of herbal tea available on the market. Some of these include chamomile, mint, lemon ginger, rooibos, and honeybush.  Popularly, chamomile and rooibos teas are consumed at night because of their soothing qualities. Not all people can tolerate herbal teas, so it is beneficial to ask your primary health care providers before you consume any type of herbal tea.   With that being said, let us go back to the health benefits of chamomile tea, Medical News Today mentions a significant amount of benefits linked to chamomile tea including relieving menstrual cramps, inducing sleepiness, and reducing inflammation. They also mention that people who have severe allergies to pollen should steer away from chamomile tea.   

The Biochemistry Major Finally adds: Along with chamomile tea, rooibos tea, which is also known as red tea, has calming qualities. Rooibos has a sweet nutty taste and is shown to have minerals like calcium, iron, and magnesium. It also contains Vitamin C. With all these vitamins and minerals, rooibos has put forth a strong case in its favor and demonstrated how healthful this tea is. It aids in weight loss, improves skin appearance, and helps with digestion. But as always, be careful about adding anything to your diet before talking with your doctor. There is a ton of information on the internet available about teas and their potential side effects. 

 

It is said: We are like Tea; we don’t know our own Strength until we’re in Hot Water. They say where there is tea there is hope. Some people will tell you there is a great deal of poetry and fine sentiment in a chest of tea. Sometimes all you need is a good cup of Tea