CLaaS Computer Lingo as a Service

 

As we have been locked inside, let’s use this precious time for another Online CLaaS. This CLaaS is not a part of the education that has been relegated unessential to remain closed and exams canceled due to the pandemic.  This is a service to help us with Lingo: Tech jargon and terms. For those outside IT Industry it is still relevant to equip yourself with these terms as you will someday be a consumer of IT now that business transformation and online presence is as essential as oxygen levels in your blood.  So introducing our new startup idea ‘CLaaS: Computer Lingo as a Service’. We will provide users AI-driven Online system with 24/7 support to users who want to survive the cruel world of IT Language used everywhere. It is fashionable to use AI-driven in everything and as a zeroth law, you need to use terms even as in our case there is nothing AI-driven.  

Since we are talking about IT scape, we are talking across eras of Mainframes, Y2k, Dotcom, J2EE, Web-services, Mobility, Cloud, DevOps, IoT, Big Data and Analytics, Micro-Services, BlockChain and now AI/ML. Now we have thrown in a lot of terms, first rule is not to get overwhelmed by the terms. The idea is to use them left, right, and center even if you may or may not know its meaning in totality. 

But before you venture into Technical Lingo you will need to get used to the lingo of office meetings. In the days of agile sprints, you need to attend daily Scrum. Agile development is nothing but a way to keep IT people busy through various meetings and short releases of new changes of software every two weeks adding to the trouble of end-users. Sprint is a kind of race to achieve a level of disturbance in the happy life for users. Scrum is a daily meeting. There is a scrum master as well as a ringmaster. You need to add one of the following terms to each sentence you say: Synergy, Teamwork, Touch base, Raising the Bar, Think outside the box, Best Practices, Paradigm shift, the next time you feel to reach out, Empower,  Keep up the good work,  Gives 110 %,  It is what it is. Yes, it is what it is.

Then if at all you need to sound profound you need to use techno-jargon, OOPs: Lingo (this is real oops not Object-Oriented Programming). Remember the good old days of learning BASIC languages like C.  Good old Fortran (Formula Translation) was used to reserve your train tickets with Indian railways. Cobol was abled in mainframes where we thought a bad date would bring world down on night of Dec 31 1999. Nothing happened but a new language developed after C which was to be baptized as D was named as Java which created Dotcom boom and bust. Those on Microsoft soft side added Visual to Basic and C, C++.   People were also enthralled by crazy reptilian-sounding terms like SAPs and Corbas. The Doras of the world used explorers and navigators to scale the World Wide Web living on cookies and brewing Java.  

On the Hardware side, we lived on PC XTs powered by P1, P2, and Pentiums while connecting through dialup modem which created extra-terrestrial music to the nocturnal animals then. Remember these pre Broadband days. Offices had ISDN and Leased lines. Office networks were as complex as only CNN could handle. I remember someone calling Certified Novell Engineer qualification wrongly as CNN. That was the basic inspiration behind CLaaS to help people avoid such embarrassment.

Let’s leave hardware and communications as we Software users (and developers) only deal with operating systems. The mere mortal looking outside Windows –NT/XP/2000 fought with Unix elites who used command prompt to demonstrate tricks of their trades within Kernels (like dogs), telnets, and gophers.  Open-Source added its own devout followers writing their code under public LAMP (Linux, Apache, MySQL, PHP).  As we saw Microsoft with its .Net weapons took on Java Engines to conquer the webspace. People were fed up with these wars and introduced SOAPs (Service Oriented Architecture Protocols) to clean themselves of dependencies.  But still, people needed something different and they looked up to the heavens and then there were Clouds. No one knew what cloud was but everyone talked about Clouds: Computing on demand. Don’t invest in infrastructure, use it as you need. This was so relevant in these days of consumerism. Don’t limit your dreams by available resources. Use credit cards to pay for your dreams. No wonder an eCommerce company like Amazon invested heavily. Everyone had one cloud, Public, Private, and Hybrid: Google had one, Microsoft painted its own Azure.  Mobile devices became smart and everyone including Moms and their kids learnt coding from Whitehat Junior and started building iOS and Android Apps.

People then saw Sci-fi movies and came to the Internet of Things where devices had intelligence. Analytics and Big Data were buzzword where people believed big companies spent a lot to analyze their inexplicable user habits. People were now amazed by another language named after a reptile: Python.    We believed that Social Media was Orwellian Big Brother controlling our lives. Companies use Search Engine Optimization and Search Engine Marketing to reach out to customers.  Agile processes added its scope to DevOps. It is nothing but efforts done by companies to make developers and operations (maintenance) team work together to avoid the ‘Tu-Tu-Mai-Mai’ blame game. People then started using the read hardware term Blockchain mistaking it to be the same as Bitcoin currency.  Finally, we are now in the realm of Artificial Intelligence and Machine Learning. These days everything is equipped with AI/ML algorithms.  These AI algorithms can be frustrating as well sometimes for example when you are trying to get your way across voice recognition telephone support calls unsuccessfully. 

Hope you like our small demo of our Computer Lingo as a Service which itself is named on Anything-as a Service model used popularly everywhere now.

Art of Taking it Easy

Last week I attended two webinars one about Project Artemis by NASA Scientist and author of book ‘Art of taking it Easy’: Two completely unrelated topics.  On one side you have people who intend to conquer the final frontier. On the other side, you have people who strive to win another frontier by using Humor to take it easy and come out a winner out of Stressful situation.  But people who do try to conquer external frontiers are heroes of society while people who have tried to take it easy and spread laughter are ignored. But then do they care? No, they take it easy.

 You have Nobel prizes, Forbes lists, Business awards, Padma awards, Khel-Ratnas, Olympic medals, Oscars, Grammys, and many awards acknowledging every achievement of every trade. But there is no way society acknowledges the role played by people who have helped to relieve stress in daily lives. Maybe the best actor in a comic role or laughter champion winner is all a comedian can achieve. Apart from John Steinbeck who received it in 1962 for his realistic and imaginative writings, combining as they do sympathetic humor and keen social perception, no Humorist has ever received Nobel Prize for Literature. Even for Steinbeck, it is more for combination and not humor. Other winners have as examples have won it for their ‘condensed, translucent images which give us fresh access to reality” Or for ‘concentration of poetry and the frankness of prose, depicting the landscape of the dispossessed. Even one of my favorite Marathi author P L Deshpande has not won Jnanpeeth Award as he depicted the everyday life of people he has used humor as a tool to point of idiosyncrasies, hypocrisy, complications of common lives.  

 Americans are derided for working themselves to the bone all week just so they can lay around in their pajamas on weekends, watching other people live their lives on social media/TV. Even in India, people work their days out commuting to be able to save money which they feel they can spend to buy their happiness through dining, vacations, shopping, etc.  Ultimately it’s all about happiness, so why not take every moment easy, resort to humor and be happy.

 Now that we are in a stressful situation during the pandemic, what has helped us: Jokes, Memes and other humorous forwards which help us laugh on plight we face? The author of taking it easy has suggested a way out of crisis to focus on the positives around and ease the situation around. To do that we need to assess the threats, accept what we cannot control, stay positive. In fact, humor is a natural stress-management tool. Coping with and minimizing stress is what humor is for. Laughter relieves anxiety, lowers stress hormones, and helps us to calm down. I can’t tell you how to find humor in your situation, but as much as we can, we need to laugh and just take it easy.

 The next question is how to create humor during stress. There are of three ways to explain simplistically. The first way as Aristotle says is a ‘play’ method. Just like kids play after studying for long, adults play with words and thoughts to create humor. The second way, Freud says, allows the expression of thoughts that society usually suppresses or forbade thus creating sarcasm and relief of suppressed emotions. A third way is 'incongruence'. The contradiction between two different things creates a neutral view of the reality around us and helps us view stressful things from a different angle.

 One of my favorite authors PG Wodehouse used sarcasm as a tool against the might of Germans in his radio broadcast though that was misconstrued by everyone.  What is the difference between Wodehouse and Shakespeare as Wodehouse himself says:

“I suppose the fundamental distinction between Shakespeare and myself is one of treatment. We get our effects differently. Take the familiar farcical situation of someone who suddenly discovers that something unpleasant is standing behind them.

Here is how Shakespeare handles it in "The Winter's Tale," Act 3, Scene 3:
ANTIGONUS: Farewell! A lullaby too rough. I never saw the heavens so dim by day. A savage clamor! Well, may I get aboard! This is the chase: I am gone forever.
And then comes literature's most famous stage direction, "Exit pursued by a bear." All well and good, but here's the way I would handle it:
BERTIE: Touch of indigestion, Jeeves?
JEEVES: No, Sir.
BERTIE: Then why is your tummy rumbling?
JEEVES: Pardon me, Sir, the noise to which you allude does not emanate from my interior but from that of that animal that has just joined us.
BERTIE: Animal? What animal?
JEEVES: A bear, Sir. If you will turn your head, you will observe that a bear is standing in your immediate rear inspecting you in a somewhat menacing manner.
BERTIE : I pivoted the loaf. The honest fellow was perfectly correct. It was a bear. And not a small bear, either. One of the large economy size.   "Advise, Jeeves," I yipped. "What do I do for the best?"
JEEVES: I fancy it might be judicious if you were to make an exit, Sir.

BERTIE: No sooner s. than d. I streaked for the horizon, closely followed across country by the dumb chum. And that is how your grandfather clipped six seconds off Roger Bannister's mile.

 
Who can say which method is superior?"  The same calamity is expressed differently. What is the better way of facing it?

 

While nothing to undermine the achievements as monumental like the Mars Mission or Man on the Moon, the resilience and importance of humor amidst a crisis is also monumental. Sense of Humor remains the most underrated quality of human beings.  

 You may remember the words of George Bernard Shaw when you try to laugh your way out of the shadow of sorrow. Life does not cease to be funny when someone dies, any more than it ceases to be serious when someone laughs

 

 

From Normal to New Normal

 

Mr Today has adjusted to a new normal. Mr Today wants to hand over the past normalcy handed over by Mr Yesterday to Mr Tomorrow. But Mr Tomorrow is worried if he could adjust to the good old Normalcy.

It all happened last March. Two gentlemen used to meet at a popular Manhattan joint for Breakfast every day. One Mr Yesterday used to hand over its baggage and instructions to My Today. Eventually, Mr Today would meet Mr Tomorrow to do the same the next day.  This was happening since the beginning of the inhabitation of this place by humanity. There was a cataclysm one fine day thanks to a brand new virus that originated from Wuhan and Mr Today waited to hand over its baggage to Mr Tomorrow. But Mr Tomorrow did not turn up at all for many days.

Everything stood standstill, but Mr Today found his new normal during this year. Despite all odds, he found ways to survive. He tried fighting the virus through all means he had. He learnt few very important lessons. Most important of that was to be prepared for any eventuality in life. He learnt to prioritize things he needed most and live minimally.  Most of the things we mainly struggle for in life like status gains through high-end dining, big cars, posh addresses, vacations, and so on are meaningless. The key is to remain happy and positive with 'real' things like basic necessities and health. He has learnt that the real heroes are the ones who ensure continuity and normalcy in life like the utility guys, grocery delivery men, police, health workers, army, government, and banking.  Globalization was threatened and the environment had a chance to revive as he observed. And finally, he has learnt that Remote is the new normal. And having spent a year adjusting to this new normal, can he return to the old normalcy?

The most impacted sections of our society by this new normal are children and senior citizens.   Imagine being restricted to indoors forcefully (though these days many kids do out of choice) and not having a chance to interact with kids of your age. Few of them would have forgotten about old normal. The only novelty in the life of senior citizens is to interact with others. They have been asked not to do so.  It must be really difficult for these two groups to adjust to the new normal. They will be happiest to return to normal. But the question remains: What about the others?

Few people had no option but to return to the normal, but many are now used to the new normal especially on the work side. If things do return to normal are we ready to face it?

Let’s start with the commuting aspect.  In the new normal, we are now used to regularly ‘commute’ within the same house to the workstation.  You have added at least one hour to your daily life. More minutes to use for spending quality time with family, more time to do creative things, read books. Forget about traffic jams of metros, pollution, crowds. You may miss the socialization part of office life but the overall effect has been positive.

Will we adjust to actual meetings after spending hours on Zoom, Teams, WebEx’s? Imagine you would have to focus on listening to every word said or slide presented on the board. There is no escape of mute button /stop video option or new window to open or checking social media. Are you ready for that?

For students, they will have to now again be prepared to listen to the teachers in actual classes, appear for exams in an examination hall, submit physical assignments and so on

We should be prepared to give upon flexible scheduling allowed by lack of need to log physical hours in the office. To some, this facility was already there, but it is now the norm in the new normal.

We have learnt to multitask in this new normal. Many people have tried cooking food or at least prepare the ingredients, cutting/chopping vegetables etc. while attending meetings. Some have tried writing reports while attending meetings to save on time as another example. That has added few more hours to our daily lives. We have watched IPLs, Aus-Eng Series while doing our work. Forget the lighter side but it adds a serious dimension to our life.

Will those who have stopped the travel for work, be ready for those jaunts involving air /train /bus travel, Hotel rooms and inevitable delays, lost sleep, bad food etc.? Or will this never be the same again?

Though most of us agree that things will never be the same or normal again after what we went through but more concern is will be able to be comfortable with others/strangers occupying the same space as ours again in our lives. Mr Today does not have answers for Mr Tomorrow.

Socially we have tried to connect over online platforms and have even conducted events as a new normal. But many have tried to defy the new normal and have tried to return to the old normal especially for the ‘play’ side of things. We tried gathering socially, tried taking vacations at away locations, dined out, and attended events. And we have seen the impact as a result of that. We are facing another round of uncertainty.

When you look at the situation, one year and few days is not a very long time in terms of overall individual life. But somehow the impact this crisis has made on the way we live is phenomenal and the uncertainty around it is the real problem along with the medical issues. To both these problems, the only solution is being stronger emotionally and increasing the natural immunity. The importance of mental and physical health/hygiene often ignored was highlighted by this pandemic

Survival and the adaptability of humanity is being tested again and Mr Tomorrow will definitely have all the answers.

 

 

Selection Day

 

We celebrated the decade we spent after the monumental six at the Wankhede on the 2^nd of April 2011. Was it the second-best day for a diehard Indian cricket fan or was it 18^th Jan earlier this year when Rishabh Pant jabbed going past the bowler for three runs to win Historic test at Gabba?  Another point to debate as the famous Marathi Author P L Deshpande has said: Cricket is more a sport of talking than actually playing it.

25^th June 1983 was the best day that changed cricket. At the helm was the greatest Indian cricketer in terms of talent and impact according to me: Kapil Dev. For those born in the mid-seventies, our cricketing experiences started with the sheer excitement Kapil brought on the field as an all-rounder.  This fairy tale story of the underdogs beating a champion like WI and beating England, Australia, and Zimbabwe (in that famous match) during the tournament was something out of this world. 

On 18^th January 2021, we observed a change of Guard for the ‘World‘s Best Team’ tag. The same event happened on 3^rd May 1995 at Sabina Park, Jamaica when Australia defeated WI by the same margin 2-1 in the well-fought series in the Caribbean.   WI team dominance of the 80s with its batsman and pace bowling was replaced on that day by the combined excellence of Australia. After the transition decade of the 90s, Aussies ruled the Naughties (the 2000s). Similarly after the transition decade of the 2010s, incidentally after the 2011 WC win, 2020’s will belong to India. And 18^th January was the start date.

Let’s provide statistics of the domination of the Indian team compared to Australia in all three formats in the last decade after 2^nd April 2011.  In Tests, India has won 54 out of 102 matches played, lost 30, and drawn 19 and a W/L ratio of 1.76. In comparison, Australia has won 54 out of 104 played, lost 34, and drawn 17 with a W/L ratio of 1.55.  In ODIs, out of 220 matches, India has won 136, Lost 72, and tied 5 with a W/L ratio of 1.888. Australia has played 190 and won 105, lost 75, and tied 1, with W/L ratio of 1.4. To complete the formats, in T20 out of 114 India has won 73, lost 36, and tied 2 with a W/L ratio of 2.02.  The ratios change significantly in tests after Jan 2015 when Kohli took over mid-series vs Australia after the sudden retirement of MS Dhoni.  The W/L ratio is 3.07. In ODIs after Jan 17 when Kohli took over, it became 2.28.   Indian fans have seen the dark days of rare victories amidst regular defeats in the 80s and 90s. Indian team foundation set by Ganguly in 2000s built further by Dravid, Kumble, and Dhoni has now culminated in the highest pinnacle winning against Australia in Australia that too at the famous stronghold of Gabbatoir. This has more significance than the statistics. With the popularity of Test going down, it’s not just about winning a bilateral series. It’s the handover of the mantle that makes it more historic.  

We Indians are not process-driven generally.  India now aspires to conquer every sector. This process-driven success template based on higher standards of fitness which results in better fielding, catching, and running between the wickets has taken things to next level in cricket as an example. Individual brilliance was always there in Indian cricket right from 1932. Gavaskar’s dream debut and Purple patch in 71 changed things a little bit in terms of resilience in Indian cricket but the current regime has made an impact and delivered. Thus we have dominated cricket in all formats despite ICC Silverware eluding us after 2^nd April 11 (   CT13 win was significant but was not a world cup just like Bensen and Hedges in 85). ICCT20 WC in 2007 completes the Top moment’s list. Reaching top test ranking in 09 was kind of underrated as it was based on home series wins.

2^nd April 2011 was significant as a tribute to the generation of Sachin, Dravid, and Ganguly, with overall brilliance of VVS, Kumble, Dhoni, Sehwag, Gambhir, Yuvi, Bhajji, Nehra and Zaheer. World Cups, ODIs and T20s are at top of the popularity charts.  On the other hand, 18^th January is a tribute to the next generation of Talent of likes of Pant, Bumrah, Pandya, Jadeja and an unlimited supply of a set of new backup players supported by the experience of Pujara, Rohit, Rahane, Ashwin, and Kohli. Now the next target of this world-beating Indian team is to backup this potential and convert it into ICC Silverware including the final of WTC.

Just as a leveler, like the zenith moments, let’s also try to rank the nadir moments. Despite the lack of occasion, the emotional impact of the Miandad’s six remains the lowest moment. WC 07 ouster would be the second-worst moment. The semifinal loss vs NZ in 19 ranks next as we were clear favorites.  The WC semifinal losses in Kolkata96 and Mumbai87 rank as well closer. The final loss to Aus in WC03 was kind of undermined due to winning vs Pak earlier.  CT Final loss in 2017 vs Pak and the dark away series in 2011 England and 11-12 Australia also features in there.  The dark era of the 90s created emotional trauma for fans but then we had that master blaster. He singlehandedly eased out things around him, provided a billion dreams and eternal hope during the liberalization era.

In between IPLs, we have seen the best ever cricket played by the Indian team across three formats with a depleted team, winning five out of six series. Our depth and will has been tested like never before including the infamous 36 all out, and the team somehow always came out with an answer. It’s been breathtaking. And 18^th Jan 2021 sums all this up and thus selected as the second-best day for an Indian Fan.