I am sure we all still have nightmares of exams. I remember those late nights as well alarm bells ringing at any odd hour of the day. Exam time used to be stressful. It was around this time of the year. But then there was one day we used to wait for the whole year. This day was the date of the last exam of the academic year. Everything was planned around this date. Beyond that there was deliverance. That day gave us Independence to do anything we liked or do nothing at all in the actual sense. Doing nothing was not a crime during those days as it is these days.
In Indian culture, life is divided into four stages. The first of that is education. The next stage is married or family life along with professional life. Let’s leave aside the last two stages of retirement or forest-dwelling and renunciation for my very own lack of experience in those. Let’s divide the education stage into two stages: school and college. The meaning of this Independence Day was different in each stage.
School days were great. Beyond Independence Day, there was a summer vacation from mid-April till mid-June. Swimming, riding rented cycles, eating mangoes, staying at a relative’s place, reading books, watching children's theatre, films, visiting public parks, and sleeping on terraces were the highlights of those simple days. Pre-monsoon rains and the arrival of monsoon dates were fixed. Nature had not lost its balance then. The study was also not that stressful. Yes, career options were limited and yes there was stress around board exams and the main two entrance exams. We only had one channel on TV and there were no cell phones, social media, or gaming to complicate our lives. We also were not forced to attend any summer camps or hobby classes. Final Exams in school were the time to really catch up with studies. The whole year we used to spend playing cricket, watching TV, playing with friends, completing homework for sake of it. There were exceptions among us. Things changed during board years when we attended classes and tuitions. The study was regularized and exams were taken as a practice. I still remember the stress and drama of board exams. Merit list existed then and being featured in that was over a top experience for me.
We went to the college which in my case it was IIT Kharagpur where we experienced hostel life cut off from the rest of the world. Independence Day then meant a date on which the last subject of the end-semester exam was scheduled. Once that ended, we used to travel 36 hours to reach our homes on the trains. Imagine doing that in the heat and dust of the Indian subcontinent in the sleeper class without reservations. There were labs, quizzes, and tests throughout the semester. We also had mid-semester exams. But the end semesters had maximum weightage in the grades. CGPA was the most dreaded four-letter combination which really scared us. Higher CGPA was needed for scholarships at the universities for post-graduation or to get a high-paying job with a reputed company. Exams were stressful as we did not have any preparatory leaves as such. The syllabus was taught till the day before the end semester. The collaboration we had during exam study was exemplary and prepared us for important challenges later in life. There were superstitions as well. A senior resident used to play on his huge music system a ‘bhajan’ which was very important for the whole hostel without which people felt their preparation was incomplete. There was a night canteen where people ate during odd hours, especially during exams. Being cut off in a rural area did wonder to our extracurricular life and the bonding we carried in later life. Time management skills are very much imbibed throughout. The end of exams meant separation from friends for three months. There was no social media and internet in the mid-nineties. Vacations also did not mean internships except for the last year. Vacations were meant for vocabulary building for future exams and interaction with the opposite sex for very few. We still remember our last exam in the fourth year which separated us to meet our destiny spread across the globe. Also, there was a sense of aspiration to lead our lives as we dream.
The feelings at the end-of-year exams especially the landmark exams are mixed. The first feeling is self-congratulation. You did it and it wasn’t that difficult. There is a feeling of self-doubt if you miss out on a question. There is a relief that you won’t have to appear for that exam again ever. You feel a sense of being part of a team with your batch mates. There is a panic wondering what if you fail the exam. You will have to do it again. There is acceptance of fate. It’s sealed and you cannot do anything about it. There is a sense of Nostalgia about the year spent with your buddies. There is dread. Will you cope with the next challenge? There is a sadness that all that you have worked for a whole year; this part of life including the stress part is over. Finally, there is a sense of maturity as exams are over and you are in control of your destiny now; not stressed and bound by restrictions. With all these feelings surrounding the exam, you go out of your exam room to meet the next challenge of your life.
Life has moved on to the next stage. It has taken me to various places and rendered me different experiences. You can say that every day is a challenge and a test in professional life. But still, at this stage, I miss the feeling of that Independence Day. I haven’t experienced that feeling after the end of my education. The feeling gets you so nostalgic to an extent that may get you back to the school.
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