“Even the darkest night will end
and the sun will rise”, says Victor Hugo in Les Miserables’. I have seen the
most optimistic people around me losing hope. The fear created
by this invisible enemy originating from China seems unending. Vaccines,
medicines, Oxygen supply, hospital beds are our main weapons to fight this
virus and are falling short due to our population and other logistical
nightmares. But can we afford to lose Hope? Hope is our most important tool to
survive. Words have given strength to those who survive to carry on
the fight.
Let’s first start with a simple
historical fact that can instill hope. The deadliest virus in
1918 saw three waves that could last only for two years till 1920. At that time
we did not have the technology and know-how derived from science like we have
today. Now we have vaccines and advanced care to support us. Other
parts of the world have the luxury of less population density but we Indians
will have to endure a bit more. Maybe we will reach herd immunity faster? Or
maybe we can better logistics thanks to our innovative mindset or our inherited
resilience to survive external threats historically.
Even if we discount that two years
of suffering is a very small price in a larger context, tell this to someone
who has lost a near one. They will disagree. Pain is the only emotion that they
can feel. So how can those who around help these friends to
recover? Mental health during a pandemic for those locked down
has been discussed. But more important than that is the healing of the minds of
friends who have lost someone close. Though experts or counselors can help them
if required medically, for those who are stronger to find self-help or for
those around, our books can be our main source of wisdom described in some
words by the masters of the literature.
Words mean just plain bytes
occupying digital memory when written or they can be some momentary sound
created in space when said, but when heard or read with open mind space, they
can fill in the voids created by losses caused by death. Tell this
to someone anguished and maybe he will answer: "Time doesn’t heal all
wounds. We know that’s bullshit: it comes from people who have nothing
comforting or original to say" as said by Adam Silvera.
So how to make them ease out their
pain using words?
You will have to convince them
about the inevitability of death. Shakespeare has said, "All that live
must die passing through nature to eternity." Humans through their
ancient scriptures and documentation have accepted that death is the most
peaceful thing for those who face it. But those who are left behind need to be
pointed to this collective wisdom through these quotes. As Isaac Asimov had
said, “Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s
troublesome.” "Dying is a troublesome
business: there is a pain to be suffered, and it wrings one's heart, but death
is a splendid thing – a warfare accomplished, a beginning all over again, a
triumph. You can always see that in their faces", said G B Shaw.
That’s where
spirituality helps us to console the bereaved by making them believe that death
is a transient part of the journey and a new beginning. Our ancient scriptures
have told that across various religions. Ravindranath Tagore has said;”
In the dualism of death and life, there is a harmony. We know that the life of
a soul, which is finite in its expression and infinite in its principle, must
go through the portals of death in its journey to realize the
infinite” “What
the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly
“says Richard Bach. Paul Coelho has said “When someone leaves, it’s because someone else is about to arrive”
The correlation between life and
death is expressed by Yann Martel in The Life of Pi as “The reason death sticks
so closely to life isn't biological necessity — it's envy. Life is so beautiful
that death has fallen in love with it, a jealous, possessive love that grabs at
what it can. But life leaps over oblivion lightly, losing only a thing or two
of no importance, and gloom is but the passing shadow of a cloud
The most powerful protection
mechanism we have to shield us from the sadness and emptiness created from
death is memories of the love we shared with the departed. There is an
unknown proverb: “When
someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a
treasure.” There is another anonymous saying: “Those we love don’t
go away, they walk beside us every day
unseen, unheard, but always near; still loved, still missed and very dear.” J
K Rowling has said, “To have been loved so deeply, even though the person who
loved us is gone, will give us some protection forever.” “What
we once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply
becomes part of us.” says Helen Keller. George
Elliot says “Our dead are never dead to us until we have forgotten them”
Then there are gems from the most practical of
human beings teaching us not to be afraid of death and pandemic. “I do not fear death. I had been
dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered
the slightest inconvenience from it”, said Mark Twain. Paramhansa Yogananda
said: “Fear of death is ridiculous because as long as you are not dead you are
alive, and when you are dead there is nothing more to worry about!” Shakespeare
himself has said, “"Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant
never taste of death but once."
The final quote here to all those
who have lost near ones and feeling pain is written by CS
Lewis: “The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That’s
the deal.”
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